Q: First off are you/do you consider yourself to be Gay?
A: Yes, completely gay.
Q: And what does that mean?
A: I am attracted, sexually and romantically, to other men.
Q: What was the process to discovering your sexuality?
A: A general feeling of difference. While everyone else was chasing after lassies, I had no interest at all. Then over time I realised why and eventually embraced it.
Q: Was the discover easy to deal with or was there a lot of denial?
A: For me the discovery was a tough one. I was in a lot of denial and tried to hide it and deny it and force myself to be straight for a long while before I eventually came to accept myself. Once I accepted myself and my sexuality, everything was much easier.
Q: Were people accepting of you ‘Coming out’?
A: Yes, so far everyone in my life has been accepting of me coming out. Some more than others, but no outright rejected from folks lives for being gay.
Q: If you don’t mind sharing can you tell me a really good and a really bad experience of ‘Coming out’?
A: Good Experience: I can’t really think of a good experience in particular as all my coming out experiences were pretty good. All my friends were supportive.
Bad Experience: Can’t really think of any except that after coming out, my father put rules in place, basically banning me from having any guys back to the house to hang out- even friends I’ve known since I was a bairn and who had girlfriends.
Q: What’s your opinion about the religious attitude towards homosexuality?
A: I hate it and will argue with anyone who tries to use religion to talk down about me and my sexuality. Religion has no place telling us who is right and wrong and what love is evil.
Q: What in your opinion is the worst stereotype or stereotypes about being gay?
A: For me, the worst stereotypes about being gay are ones that surround how gay men act/look. Often, gay men are depicted as being extremely slim guys or super buff guys. There’s hardly any inbetween. And for how they act in media, we’re always shown as either super femme or super masculine as if to overcompensate for being gay. These stereotypes are harmful as it puts us into boxes and pushes out any gay man who doesn’t fit- it massively hurts the self esteem of a gay man who isn’t a super skinny twink or a muscle man but is instead just an average, maybe slightly chubby or fat man. It is damaging to the community as it forces us into specific ways of being and looking which can cause serious damage to people.
Q: What is something you’d like everyone to know about being gay?
A: We’re just like you. We are complex, we have likes and dislikes. We don’t all like the same things. The only thing that differentiates us from you is who we love. Remember that.
Q: What is your opinion on bisexuality?
A: I have no problem with bisexual people. I don’t want judged or treated differently for my sexuality, why should they be different? They’re still part of the community, they should have the whole communities support.
Q: How did you feel about same sex marriage being legalised?
A: Ecstatic! When I heard it had been done, I was so over the moon knowing that one day, if I so wished, I could get married. Knowing that couple who had been together for decades could finally get married, it was an amazing feeling.
Q: What is the hardest part about being gay in your your opinion?
A: The constant worry and fear of how every single new person you meet will react. Always being on edge. Being too scared to hold your partner’s hand or give them a kiss or a cuddle in public from fear of some homophobic attack being launched.
Q: What do you have to say to people that believe homosexuality can be cured and/or is a choice?
A: “Fuck off you close-minded, bigoted prick!”
Q: Do you feel you are often fetishized for your sexuality?
A: More these days, yes. But only really online. In real life, not really. But online on social media, there is a disturbing trend for people to fetishize gay people (and even straights by making them gay) just so they can get their kicks and get off to their “sinful otp” all while forgetting about the individuals and only seeing them as “a Gay”.
Q: How do you feel/what do you have to say to the idea that gay people are more promiscuous?
A: I think that is absolute crap. Straights and Queers are both as promiscuous as each other- the reason that queer people (especially gay men) are often seen as being more so is because we had to be more open about our sexuality in order to bring awareness to our community to start the fight for equality. Straights never had to do that. They kept their sex lives private and hidden because they didn’t have to fight for that same equality in public. Both sides are promiscuous- it just depends on the individual people and how open they are about it.
First Published on: https://offtherecordblog.org